Lead Because You Can

Leadership isn’t about titles—it’s about showing up. Act from abundance, not need. Be the one who goes first, not because you must, but because you can.

The funny thing about groups is how often everyone just waits. You’ll see it in meetings, in families, in classrooms. People know something needs to happen—a decision, a kind word, a tough call—but no one moves. Everyone’s waiting for someone else to do it. It’s like a standoff where the only weapon is inaction. And in those silences, what’s really happening is fear: fear of judgment, of responsibility, of being wrong, or just of sticking your head out first.

What’s strangest is that this behavior is considered normal. We’re taught, implicitly and sometimes explicitly, that leadership is for a particular kind of person. The boss. The parent. The teacher. The elected. The one with the badge, the title, the mandate. Someone else. And if you’re not that person, your job is to follow—or at the very least, stay quiet and wait for instructions.

But that division is imaginary. Most leadership that matters doesn’t come from the top. It comes from the middle. From someone who saw something that needed to be done and did it. Not because it was their job, but because they were capable. Because they could.

The best things in the world often happen that way. Movements, companies, relationships. They’re not built by people who waited to be appointed. They’re built by people who didn’t.

The Myth of “Them”

We’re surrounded by systems that train us to outsource responsibility. School is the first. You do what you're told. You wait to be called on. You don’t speak out unless you have permission. Then comes work. You climb a ladder, follow protocol, and avoid taking initiative unless you’re sure it’s in your lane. We treat leadership like a talent or a role, not a behavior. But that’s not how real leadership works.

The truth is, there is no “them.” There’s only us. The people willing to act and the people waiting for someone else to.

This myth—that someone else is coming to save us—is as dangerous as it is comforting. It lets us delay responsibility indefinitely. It encourages passivity. Worse, it hollows out our capacity. If you always wait for someone else to lead, you never build the muscles you need to do it yourself. Eventually, you don’t just lack the title—you lack the skill.

Why Generosity Is Power

This is where the idea of generosity flips from moral to mechanical. Generosity isn’t about selflessness. It’s about strength. The ability to give—to give your time, energy, attention, clarity, help—is proof that you are not depleted. You don’t give because you have nothing. You give because you have more than enough.

There’s an old idea, often buried in spiritual traditions but easily divorced from religion: the gift returns to the giver. That’s not just poetic—it’s functional. You get stronger by acting like someone who’s strong. You grow into the role by practicing the behavior. Giving is how you discover your own abundance.

This is why leaders don’t wait for need. They operate from “can.” From possibility. From the knowledge that stepping up isn't just good for the group—it’s good for the self. Every time you help someone, make a decision, take initiative, you’re sharpening your ability to do it again. You’re expanding the bandwidth of what you’re capable of.

It’s weirdly Darwinian, in a way no one talks about. We think survival of the fittest means killing or competing. But often it means leading. Making the environment better not just for yourself, but for others. And those who can do that, thrive—not because they fought for it, but because they grew into it.

The Leader in the Mirror

If you ask people who their heroes are, they’ll name the usuals—founders, presidents, activists, inventors. But the real leaders in their lives probably aren’t the ones with headlines. They’re the friend who called when no one else did. The coworker who fixed a broken process no one would touch. The person who spoke up when the room fell silent.

Leadership doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t wait for approval. It doesn’t ask for a badge. It just acts.

This is the truth that gets buried under ceremony: the most important kind of leadership is local, invisible, and voluntary. It’s not done for credit. It’s done because someone saw something and realized they were the one in the best position to do it. Not because they had to. Because they could.

The Trap of Need-Based Living

The default mode for most people isn’t to act from abundance. It’s to act from need. We wait until a problem forces our hand. Until the situation becomes too painful to ignore. Only then do we step in, fix things, apologize, speak up, offer help.

But acting from need is just survival. That’s what animals do when they’re cornered. The difference between reacting to crisis and leading from abundance is the difference between fire-fighting and building something fireproof.

Waiting until you have to act guarantees two things: one, you’ll be under-prepared; two, you’ll be acting under stress. The best decisions rarely come from panic. They come from practice. And that practice only happens if you act when you don’t have to.

The irony is, most of the people who end up being “in charge” are just the ones who kept showing up. Not the smartest, not the loudest. Just the ones who didn’t wait to be told. Leadership, like most things, is cumulative. Each small decision to act when others don’t adds up. And over time, it becomes indistinguishable from authority.

Small Acts, Big Stakes

Let me give you an example. A friend once told me about a junior software developer at a startup. She wasn’t the team lead. She wasn’t even senior. But she kept doing things no one else wanted to: fixing bugs others ignored, cleaning up processes, writing better documentation. Not because she had to—because she saw it needed doing and had the ability.

By the time she’d been there a year, people were going to her before their own managers. Why? Because she acted like a leader. She took responsibility when she didn’t have to. And in doing that, she became indispensable. That’s what leadership looks like: not flash, but usefulness. The kind of usefulness that scales.

We often imagine leadership is about charisma. But the most effective form is competence in motion. Leadership, when you really get down to it, is a kind of public service. You offer your skills, your energy, your clarity, and people follow because they feel safer when you're around.

That starts small. A note. A fix. A hard conversation. A moment of honesty when everyone else is dodging the truth.

What Stops Us

So why don’t more people lead? Why do we still wait?

Because it’s scary. Leading—even in small ways—means exposure. You might be wrong. You might look foolish. You might get blamed. You might make things worse. And more subtly, you might have to keep doing it. People might start expecting you to show up, again and again. That’s pressure. That’s responsibility. And a lot of people spend their lives avoiding it.

But the truth is, none of these fears outweigh what you gain.

Acting despite fear is how confidence gets built. Taking initiative is how trust gets built. And being seen as someone who can is how people start believing in you—and how you start believing in yourself.

Conclusion – Go First

The fastest way to find power in the world isn’t to wait for it to be handed to you. It’s to give it away. That’s the paradox of leadership: you get stronger by lifting. You grow by showing up when it would be easier to stay out of it. And the more you act from abundance, the more abundance you create—for others, and for yourself.

So the next time you see a situation that needs clarity, or courage, or just a little kindness, don’t wait. Don’t look around for someone with a badge or a louder voice. Just do it. Go first.

It’s not about being the leader forever. It’s about being the leader now. Because leadership, in the end, isn’t a position. It’s a practice.

And it starts with you.